Friday, July 31, 2009

Lumpy as the new Blue M&M!?

(07-31-09) 11:17 PDT Los Angeles, California, Earth

After almost breaking his hard candy shell during a recent commercial shoot, the Blue M&M announced that he needed a stunt double. During a press conference, Blue stated that for years he’s worked without a stunt double simply because “ don’t see too many blue guys walking around, but enough is enough.” When asked about the Blue Man Group, Blue simply stated, “What do you think I look like, a twig? Those guys lack my stage presence.”

Sources later revealed that Lumptacious Hrudkovity, also known by his peers as “Lumpy,” had been approached as a potential stunt double candidate for Blue. Blue reportedly said, “I was playing the new iPhone and iPod touch reality game show QuitIt! when I saw this blobby-looking blue guy. At first, I thought I was looking at a mirror image of myself. But after I looked closely, I realized this blue guy was the only one good enough to be my stunt double.”

Mr. Hrudkovity could not be reached for comment. However, his agent issued the statement that “While it’s true that we’ve been approached by the Blue M&M’s people about a project, we haven’t committed to anything yet.”

His agent further added, “Obviously, my client’s skin tone is much paler than the Blue M&M’s hard candy shell. However, my client has indicated that he would consider undergoing blue augmentation therapy if his role required it.” When asked about the safety of the procedure, his agent quipped, “Scientists recently discovered that Brilliant Blue G, the coloring agent used in the augmentation therapy as well as the color in Blue’s delicious melt in your mouth but not in your hands candy shell, may potentially mend spinal injuries. If it’s good enough for candy and spines, it’s good enough for my client.”

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