Thursday, July 30, 2009

Lumpy visits the United Nations!!

(07-30-09) 08:00 EDT New York, New York, Earth

Today, representative Lumptacious Hrudkovity from the planet Zgrunturos addressed a Special Session of the United Nations. Mr. Hrudkovity, known simply by his peers as “Lumpy,” shocked the assembly when he deviated from the session’s agenda of “Intergalactic Relations: Is It Good?”

Mr. Hrudkovity instead chose to thank his fans in the United Kingdom and Canada for reviewing his virtual game show QuitIt! on the iTunes App Store. QuitIt!, now available for the iPhone and the iPod touch, aired for the first time this past week.

Mr. Hrudkovity indicated he was deeply moved by the response of his fans. He assured everyone during his speech that he is a professional and that he could “take it.” He also asked all of his fans keep on poking and to help spread the word about QuitIt! and to encourage others to join the QuitIt! community.

At this point, frantic U.N. officials turned off the public address system, only to discover that Mr. Hrudkovity was speaking through a translator elsewhere in the room. Having no other options, security guards wrestled Mr. Hrudkovity to the ground. Ironically, Mr. Hrudkovity’s last words before being taken away from the General Assembly hall was his infamous tag line “Quit It!

After the altercation, the identity of the translator was determined to be Mr. Hrudkovity’s own agent, who refused to divulge his name. When asked why Mr. Hrudkovity changed his speech at the last second, his agent simply replied, “This interview is over.” However, before leaving the General Assembly hall, the agent yelled out, “QuitIt! is now available at the iTunes App Store!”

When asked whether or not Mr. Hrudkovity is here on Earth as a legal alien, the Obama Administration made assurances they were looking into the matter and issued the statement "While at this time we cannot confirm the legality of Mr. Hrudkovity's presence on Earth, we are certain his agent followed the proper quarantine protocol to bring him here." They further added, "President Obama is aware of Mr. Hrudkovity and happens to be a fan."


  1. Your write up is v. funny! Is there a chance that t-shirts could be made up of Lumpy? (I especially like lumpy-ohhs) I think I'm in love...

  2. Lumpy wishes to thank you for your compliments! Lumpy appears to be blushing at the moment. His Agent is currently negotiating with different licensees for merchandising deals, so we may have some news on this in the near future!