Daily Delish - Cupcake

“Lumpi ha pho tabetai.”

“Lumpi ha pho tabetai.”

“Lumpi ha pho tabetai.”

Is what our interns have been hearing at meal times recently. It’s not a unreasonable request, as phở isn’t some exotic food derived from an endangered species or a demand for a bowl of brown M&M’s without any red ones.

In any event, a production assistant intern responsible for stocking up the staff breakroom went out to a local bakery and bought some cupcakes. She thought the Lumpster would enjoy the little sugary frosted delicacy and offered him one that was masterfully decorated with colorful candy sprinkles.

Lumpy approached the cupcake and freaked out momentarily. At first, we couldn’t figure out why he reacted that way to a seemingly harmless snacky cake. Once we paid close attention to the cake, we realized what was wrong.

Our intern thought the little kitty decoration on the cake was cute, and gave it to him. Unfortunately for Lumpy, the kitty reminded him of one of the lovely Gifts on the show. The infamous Colonel Tso’s Chicken.

Once removed, Lumpy devoured it with gusto.

Lumpy’s verdict on the cupcake? “Temporarily delish.”

This moment of gustative pleasure was clearly short-lived.

“Demo Lumpi ha mada pho tabetai.”*

“Demo Lumpi ha mada pho tabetai.”

“Demo Lumpi ha mada pho tabetai.”

Could be heard in the studio hallways as he hopped away to the Green Room.

Rolling his eyes, Lumpy’s Agent said, “At least my client is saying something different...”

*「デモ　ランピー　ハ　マダ　フォー　タベタイ」

Lumpy as the new Blue M&M!?

(07-31-09) 11:17 PDT Los Angeles, California, Earth

After almost breaking his hard candy shell during a recent commercial shoot, the Blue M&M announced that he needed a stunt double. During a press conference, Blue stated that for years he’s worked without a stunt double simply because “...you don’t see too many blue guys walking around, but enough is enough.” When asked about the Blue Man Group, Blue simply stated, “What do you think I look like, a twig? Those guys lack my stage presence.”

Sources later revealed that Lumptacious Hrudkovity, also known by his peers as “Lumpy,” had been approached as a potential stunt double candidate for Blue. Blue reportedly said, “I was playing the new iPhone and iPod touch reality game show QuitIt! when I saw this blobby-looking blue guy. At first, I thought I was looking at a mirror image of myself. But after I looked closely, I realized this blue guy was the only one good enough to be my stunt double.”

Mr. Hrudkovity could not be reached for comment. However, his agent issued the statement that “While it’s true that we’ve been approached by the Blue M&M’s people about a project, we haven’t committed to anything yet.”

His agent further added, “Obviously, my client’s skin tone is much paler than the Blue M&M’s hard candy shell. However, my client has indicated that he would consider undergoing blue augmentation therapy if his role required it.” When asked about the safety of the procedure, his agent quipped, “Scientists recently discovered that Brilliant Blue G, the coloring agent used in the augmentation therapy as well as the color in Blue’s delicious melt in your mouth but not in your hands candy shell, may potentially mend spinal injuries. If it’s good enough for candy and spines, it’s good enough for my client.”